Reconnecting with your adult son or daughter: Steps to consider before suggesting therapy

When your relationship with an adult son or daughter has broken down, it can leave an ache that words can’t quite soothe. You may long for understanding, forgiveness, or simply to feel close again, yet each attempt seems to make things harder. At Krysallis, we know from experience that even when family relationships feel distant or fractured, there is still hope for reconnection.

Before you invite your adult child to consider therapy or counselling, it can help to pause and reflect on a few key steps. These are the gentle ways to prepare both yourself and them to move things forward positively.

1. Begin with empathy, not fixing

Start by truly listening. Many adult children need to feel heard before they can begin to trust again. Empathy and not persuasion is what often helps to soften distance.

2. Acknowledge your part

Owning your part in what’s happened can be powerful. Even a small admission, such as “I can see that I hurt you when I didn’t listen,” shows emotional honesty and begins to rebuild trust.

3. Expect mixed reactions

It’s natural for your son or daughter to respond with hesitation, anger, or withdrawal. They may be protecting themselves from past pain. Try to stay calm, kind and reassuring for them.

4. Respect their autonomy

Your adult child is navigating their own life now. Instead of saying “you should go to therapy,” try “I’ve been thinking about getting some support myself – maybe it could help us both.” Leading by example can invite and not pressure this new connection.

5. Take your own step first

Before asking your child to join, consider beginning your own counselling journey here in Harrogate. Individual therapy can help you process emotions, find clarity, and learn new ways to communicate. If you take this step first then you could create a safer space for change when the other person is ready.

At Krysallis, we offer a warm, confidential environment for individuals and families across Harrogate and North Yorkshire. Healing doesn’t happen overnight — but it begins with one brave step. Whenever you’re ready, we’re here to walk alongside you.

Get in touch with one of our counsellors today.

Need help?

Whether you are an individual or an organisation, we are here to help.

We provide a range of therapies and wellbeing approaches which best match your individual or organisational needs. Our help is always provided by professionally trained therapists with relevant qualifications and membership registrations. Our services are private and confidential and GDPR compliant.