My wife had an affair. Here’s how I coped.
I never imagined I’d be in this place, wondering how everything I trusted could disappear in a moment. I had so many questions, but none of them had answers. The betrayal broke something deep. And while my friends tried to be supportive, I needed someone who understood.
Why I reached out for help
Booking that first counselling session was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But it was the best decision I made. I was scared at first. But therapy became a non-judgmental space to open up. From the very first session, I felt a shift. A small one, but it was real. My counsellor gave me space to fall apart without falling through. Little by little, we started putting the pieces together.
What we talk about in therapy
Each session is different, depending on where I’m at emotionally. But here’s what we’ve explored so far:
Understanding the shock.
Why betrayal trauma hits so hard, especially when it comes from someone you love.
That my body’s responses are normal reactions to deep emotions.
Processing the pain.
Talking through the anger, grief, confusion, and self-doubt.
Learning how to stop blaming myself.
Having a space where I can say things I can’t say to anyone else.
Setting boundaries
What I need in order to feel safe again.
How to ask for transparency and honesty without feeling like I’m losing control.
One of the hardest parts of this whole experience has been managing the mental replaying of the situation. We’ve been using grounding techniques and journaling to break that cycle. Both things bring me back into the present moment instead of spiralling through the past. I’ve also started to reconnect with myself. The work we’re doing in counselling is helping me rediscover that person. I’m rebuilding my self-worth, slowly and gently, piece by piece. And I’m starting to get clarity, not just about the relationship, but about who I want to be going forward. It’s not always easy, but it feels like coming home to myself, and it’s very rewarding.
What help looks like
You deserve a space to be free, ask hard questions, cry and start again with hope. That’s what counselling gave me. It supported me while I healed, on my own terms. Book a counselling session today. Even if you’re not ready to say much, just showing up is enough. Get in touch.